"I like feeling more masculine than feminine, it just makes me feel better."
Billie Eilish admits she struggles with feelings of worthlessness and talks about the struggles she faced growing up in the public eye.
The American singer said on the occasion of her appearance on the BBC's "100 Women" list: "It's a very traumatic experience growing up in the public eye. It's really hard to evolve and change for many reasons"
"I was just wasting my time trying in vain... I just didn't know what I was doing," he continued.
Billie Eilish, who was just 14 when she got her first taste of fame, then shared her insecurities and confessed to feeling unworthy.
“I've faced it so many times in my life, and at some points last year and the year before. I was just in this downward spiral of impostor syndrome and I was grasping at whatever I could to feel like myself again."
The pop star added that "once people started trusting her", the situation started to change and she felt more accepted.
Elsewhere in the revealing interview with the BBC, Billie Eilish addressed her difficult relationship with her gender and explained when she feels "strongest".
“I feel stronger when I feel masculine in my life. I can also find strength in femininity. It is a balance between the two. Depending on how I walk and stand and my clothes and my face and my jewelry and my fingers and everything that I am every day,” she said.
"I like feeling more masculine than feminine, it just makes me feel better," she noted.
"I struggled with this for a long time because I wanted to feel feminine and like it, but I didn't really, but it's about finding moments where you can have that and feel good about it," she added.
Billie Eilish even confided that at one point she felt "desperate" because of her gender.
"There was a certain period of time where I was in this pit of despair about myself because there weren't any girls like me who were being taken seriously to look up to," she explained.
"I remember just crying in my bed because I was thinking about the show I wanted to put on," she continued.
"I felt so desperate because I'm a girl, so I was like, I'll never be able to do a show like this, I'll never be able to be free up there and wild and have that stage presence and be more intense with the body and I'm more into performance... I thought it would never happen," said Billie Eilish.
