"When I was on top of the world, my mind was saying I don't deserve any of this."
During an emotional speech during a concert in Amsterdam at the weekend, Robbie Williams opened up about his struggles with mental health and thanked his fans for 'protecting' him.
"Over the years, there's been a deeper dive into mental illness and the struggle with just being human," Robbie Williams told the crowd at Amsterdam's Ziggo Dome on Saturday 28 January.
"In 2006, it got so big that I retired from the music business," he continued.
“Obviously, I'm still here, so that didn't go well at all, but I did it. And for three years, I just sat on the couch and ate potato chips and donuts, grew a beard and looked like a serial killer, and looked for UFOs, which made me look even crazier. I became agoraphobic and wouldn't leave the house. I only left the house for the meetings with the doctors," he confessed.
“I had no purpose and no life. When I was on top of the world, which I was at the time, I sold out all these stadiums and was in the papers every day... My mind says I don't deserve any of this. My mind tells me that I'm a mess and that I'm not worth anything," he admitted.
"That's what my mind tells me. And then when you're on top of the world, everyone wants to pull you down. The papers want you down. Social media wants to bring you down. They just want to cut you down and make you stop working," he added.
Robbie Williams also said he "internalises" the "bad words" written about him, which led to his retirement in 2006 and caused him to consider taking his own life.
The 48-year-old singer then noted that two things kept him "safe" during that time – the first being meeting his wife, American actress Ayda Field.
“The other thing, which is true, because my mind tells me that I'm worthless and that I'm a fraud and that I shouldn't be here and that I don't deserve any of this, the only thing that neutralized that, and also me kept safe, it was the fact that you're here, and you like me, and you want me to be okay," he told the crowd to applause.
“If it wasn't for you, my wife and my kids now, I don't think I'd be here. So I am eternally grateful to you for, in a very, very crazy, crazy way, protecting me. Thank you very much," he added.
Speaking to NME last year, Robbie Williams opened up about his battle with mental health and substance abuse and said he's receptive to the support of those close to him.
“The good thing about me is that I will listen to help. I always felt that there was something in me that was worth saving and I always wanted to be saved," he stated.
“When it comes to delusions about other things, I do, but when it comes to delusions about addiction and my own mental health, I don't suffer from that. I said, 'Oh, this is out of control and these people are reaching out to save me and I'm going to grab that hand,'" she explained.
“I know that too many cannot be helped and reject the people who come to save them. I don't want to have this pain," he stressed.
